Behavioral Success Blog

Q: My 10-year-old son received a Game Boy for Christmas from his uncle. He played with it constantly. A couple of days later, he came to me sobbing and holding his Game Boy. The screen was broken and it was not working. He told me he was not doing as well as his cousins on the game and hit himself on the head with it. He was heartbroken and cried uncontrollably. It broke my heart to see him that way. He offered to use his own money to replace it, but it was not enough to buy a new one. Should I buy another Game Boy and let him keep his money or should I use his money?

A: First of all, it may be possible to repair the game at a lower cost than to replace it. This may mean your son loses it for a period of time, but that itself could be a lesson. Since you did not witness the incident, you may need to determine how the game broke. Was this out of frustration, anger or malicious destruction? If he has broken other things out of anger in the past, you would probably be a little more suspicious of this incident. If losing his temper causes damage on a regular basis, you may want to consult a professional therapist about anger management techniques. The remorse he felt as soon as the incident occurred is a good sign that it wasn't malicious destruction. That could lead to a more serious problem and needs to be addressed immediately with a professional. It sounds like it was more of an impulsive act arising out of frustration. However, this experience teaches him that, if he mistreats his possessions, they will not last. You can take this opportunity to talk with your son about how to express his frustrations without damaging property, hurting others or himself. Accept his offer to contribute money to repair or replace the game. He will be less likely to damage other things in the future if he knows how much they cost him to replace.