Anger in Parenting
Q: Last night I really lost it with my 10-year-old son and was quite mean. I have been feeling terrible all day and can't stop thinking about how I should know better. I'm supposed to be the adult and not let him get to me that way. What is wrong with me, and what should I do?
A: Give
yourself a break. Nothing is wrong with you. You are human. Kids are
experts at pushing their parent's buttons. The guilt you are feeling is
an uncomfortable but a potentially beneficial feeling. There are several
things you can do. The first is to apologize to your son for your
inappropriate behavior. This allows you to maintain some sense of
dignity and shows your son that you respect him the same way you want
him to respect you. We tend to react more when we are under stress. Look
at ways to reduce your stress during the day. Parenting classes and
books can offer suggestions that will help. In a calm moment for both of
you, set up a code word you both can use when one starts to lose it.
When either of you says the code word, you both take a time-out from
each other. After the time-out, calmly discuss the situation with your
son. It will be much easier without interference of the emotions
In : Q & A
Tags: anger
